Posted by: jamesotis | January 10, 2009

Odding in Denver

Call it exploring, christening the walls, popping a cherry or coming out: there’s always something exciting to me about something new. (This was originally posted on my rather crappy blogger site.)

I abandoned my old blog due to technical malfunctions. Appropriately this coincided with a conversation with my good friend Loir about the human body and how to enjoy it. My thoughts aren’t new, nor unique, nor am I yet an expert. I do believe however that they have the potential to change the world.

My friend is a single woman in her late 20’s. Although physically skilled, gifted and both a rapid and intuitive learner, Loir is as in tune with her body and those of other’s about as much as a redneck is in tune with Public Broadcasting. Over the course of our friendship and brief romance I’ve had the pleasures of opening her eyes, unfolding the horizon, handing her a compass and generally embarrassing and discomfiting her to my heart’s content. But my fetishes aside, her MS/Psychology, upbringing and contemporary adult life have left her with a common and lamentable deficit: she knows precious little about her body. That’s O.K., she says the same thing of my emotions and psychological health. 😉

Most of Loir’s knowledge, like so many women and not a few men, comes from encountering health problems, guilty Internet research and rare partners who knowledgeably reveled in hedonism. Her religion fears, scorns and hates sexuality and sensuality. Knowledge is viewed as dangerous and enjoyment as perversion. Once these barriers fall there is still a blank slate, the confusion of an aborigine in NYC or perhaps the obverse. Teaching her and other friends is a complex task, at once confounding and rewarding. What I was taught as a very young child is difficult to communicate to someone who lacks the words to describe basic physical sensations, while watching the joys of discovery, learning and mastery is more wonderful in adults than even in children.

I was raised in Confusion, near the boarder of Oxymoron. My mother is deeply religious (Judaism and Baptist Christianity), widely experienced in childcare and midwifery and noted for such social incidents as using the words vagina and uterus in church.
My father is a converted catholic-cum-baptist-lay-minister who also taught me the rudiments of non-stage magic, intuition and such feats as consciously controlling my heart rate and not feeling pain.
My upbringing accordingly consisted of dinner table dissections, frank discussions about matters that also called up embarrassment and shame, and stern admonitions that some things are best not shared with the churchies. My mother freely discussed family-centered childbirth at the dinner table hours after scolding me for playing doctors and nurses while my brother ran the projector at her natural childbirth courses.
Matters such as masturbation and body exploration were at once forbidden and either blindly ignored and/or encouraged. My version of the birds and bees was handed down stiffly, with unclear black-and-white 2D illustrations, with the tacit implication that Mum’s collection and the public library were to be preferred, just don’t get caught.

The result is that I learned much that my parent’s regret and encourage. I also am constantly confounded that the world and especially my partners don’t share my birthright of positive body image, knowledge and pleasurable self-knowledge. I’m proud to know what I look and feel like over every inch of my body that can be seen or reached, with or without assistance. While it’s no surprise that most of my fellow males have never seen their own prostate it came as a shock that none of my female partners have ever looked at their genitals in the mirror, felt and/or looked inside and balk or grimace at the prospect. Even a lover’s body is viewed best in the dark and without conscious thought. It’s very fun to teach and share, but also somewhat discouraging. I want a partner who is both enthusiastic and knowledgeable while staying in my general age range. Like with a good set of camping gear or tools, the best are those that one creates…

So one of my goals is to educate people about their bodies. A simple resource sharing, some 1on1 advocacy, a little public awareness. I could go the Betty Dodson route and lead masturbation workshops, but I prefer to retain my status as a contradiction in terms.

Some may call me a hedonist. I may well be but I prefer hedonism’s risks to those of asceticism. I accept what I’m given and enjoy it. After all, happiness is getting what I want and
contentedness is wanting what I get.

What can you do? Educate yourself and spread the word to everyone who will listen. Or at least who will blushingly read behind locked doors. 😉 The better educated and more experienced everyone becomes the better sex and other intimate encounters we can all start enjoying. As the Great Doctor himself penned, “It’s fun to have fun, you just have to know how!”

Happily Content


While most of these are gynocentric it is what’s available. I’ll bring along more malebody stuff as I find or create it. Guys, substitute your anatomy, use your imagination and forge ahead. Gals, we need your perspective. Grab the nearest consenting male and start “orienteering.”



  1. Would God be so cruel as to give us such instruments of pleasure and then forbid us to enjoy them thoroughly? I think not.

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