Posted by: jamesotis | June 1, 2009

E=MCsquared

It’s no secret that things make more sense to me than do people. Every once in a while though I do have an epiphany.

I took a call from my ex-GF today. She was stuck across town and her car wouldn’t start due to an alarm malfunction. After she tried to start it with the alarm activated it shut down. No problem right? Just lock and unlock the door with the key and it should reset. Except that the key wouldn’t turn in the door lock. After trying everything under the sun I popped the door panel and started fiddling with the wiring and lock mechanism under the premise that the alarm is electric and therefore quite unintelligent. Feed it on/off in the right sequence and it will hear what it want’s to hear and do what I want it to do. After learning the hard way how to remove the interior door latch and window crank (both snapped – oh how I miss old metal cars) and tweaking things 4 a while I put the key in the ignition, turned it and was rewarded with the CD player screaming, “Everybody Dance Now!!!…”

It wasn’t until I was a mile or two nearer home that I realized something: People work the same way. Tell them what they want to hear (I’m sorry/you’re pretty/I like you/you’re right/etc) and they will usually do what you want them to. Maybe that sounds a little manipulative or, as a new acquaintance put it yesterday, motivational, yet it’s true. Most of don’t want to admit that we’re shallow enough to yield to a little ego fluffing, much less that we sit at the other end of the table and yet it’s true. The price is low and the effort for sincere flattery is equally simple. If one makes another feel good the other will likely do what is asked. It’s how most ppl I’ve met get laid, how info, unauthorized access, loans and other favors are accomplished with ease and have been since the dawn of communication. It’s also a human characteristic that I’ve resented as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt that we are more than simple machines that respond according to equally simple algorithms determined by basic laws. We have a much highercapacity for reason and self control and to imply otherwise is personally insulting to one so top-heavy as yours truly. But like all things top heavy I have to admit that I’m rather out of balance. As posted previously I’m barely cognisant of the moajority of emotions, can name fewer and thoroughly deny most. Far from a stable state of being.

So I came up with a little formula (think The Big Bang Theory Jenna 😉 ), with apologies to the Frizzy Professor:
E=MCsquared
Emotion equals motivation multiplied by circumstance squared

(Everybody dance now!…)

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